Month: January 2022

A Look Back

megHan

2021 was full of changes.

It started with me working with two year olds at a childcare facility, later found me working as an Assistant Manager at a cinema, and ended with me finding my chosen happy place – Assistant Manager at a clothing store. And boy has THAT been an adventure.

It found me ending a relationship (if you could even call it that) with a man who was a complete waste of my time, and at some point during the year, I saved myself from doing the same thing with someone else who did not deserve to be around me. Maybe I’ll put myself out there this year, maybe I won’t, but one thing I will always remember – I am not putting up with reasons and excuses, excuses and reasons. If they aren’t going to make an effort, they don’t deserve my time, energy, or even thoughts.

I made some good friends, reconnected with old ones, did a bunch of gardening, had some fun adventures (some silly, some grand), made some great memories, had a load of fun times with my mom, and really… to be absolutely honest… 2021 wasn’t actually half bad. I mean, yeah, there’s all that “outside stuff” that is going on in the world, but those outside things didn’t put much of a damper on my little neck of the woods… so that’s always a plus. (I have always tried to not let those things kill my tranquility, and it’s sad to watch those I consider friends allow theirs to be killed and, on top of that, watch all the anger that they themselves put out into the world.)

And I now look forward to 2022 and all it has to offer. I learned a long time ago that I – myself – have to CHOOSE whether my year is going to be good or bad, that I – myself – have to MAKE AN EFFORT and TAKE STOCK and STICK TO MY PLAN. And that is exactly what I plan to do this year.

As I Sit Here…

megHan

My intention was to sit down this morning and write a post looking back at last year and setting my eyes on this, but as I took a look “around the place,” taking stock of where this blog is and what it is, I realized that I needed to face where this blog is and what this blog is first.

I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I sat down and wrote a blog post here. But then again… I guess I can believe it. 2021 was an interesting year, full of ups and downs, for all of us, and in that year, a lot of the things that I loved to do were put aside because I just… didn’t want to. Or maybe I couldn’t. It’s a feeling that I can’t explain, but one that cut me deep every time. Staring at a blank screen, or avoiding that blank screen…

It’s interesting – and I can’t be the only blogger that does – but I have several posts sitting in Draft… not quite finished. Some are just silly, and some are me sharing a part of myself with the strangers in internet world. Before I started this post, I looked over them – and the vast list of ideas I have to write about here – and realized some of the things I want to write about are things I need to deal with personally, and maybe that’s why they are on the list, a way to force me into confronting those demons, or telling my side of the story, or maybe a way of connecting with someone – anyone – who may have been in that situation before. I write these long, drawn-out opuses, and then, upon rereading them (checking for errors, making sure they sound eloquent), I have second thoughts, decide to wait a few days, save it in the Draft folder and move on – not ready to share, but also not ready to delete. So they sit there, waiting, waiting for me to be ready.

I have another list, sitting next to me. A list of all the things I need to “work on.” Some of them are simple – sitting in my garden with a cup of tea every morning when I have a day off, write in my journal every day, spend 30 minutes before bed reading. Others are more complex. Some have to do with some personal changes that I want to work on this year, others are things that I want to work on professionally to make me the best at what I do (I don’t compete with others, only myself, but in both of my chosen careers, I always go the extra mile to make sure that I am the best choice, whether its continuing education, reading books on the subject, learning from other professionals, etc). On that list is to sit my tush down in this chair and write more here. You have to start somewhere…