Beautiful Screamer

Another Year Older

April 12, 2022 megHan

Today is my 45th birthday.

To be honest, I always thought that this one would be hard for me as this year marks just FIVE more years before I turn the big 5-0. In reality, it just feels like another birthday. It’s special – they all have been and will be – but nothing to freak out about. Just another year on this planet.

I’ve been wrong before, always believing the hype that 30 would be hard or 40 would be hard. None of them were. They were all epiphany birthdays for me. I learned something about myself, had dreams that pointed me in a different direction – they were all life changing, but not because of the number. Maybe I lucked out that way.

When we moved to Florida (we being me and my mother), we planned to spend our birthdays (just two days apart) at the Happiest Place on Earth. And we did, for a couple of years. But then COVID hit. And now, with the state of the world, with the way that people behave, it just doesn’t seem like the Happiest Place on Earth anymore. The excitement of going there just isn’t a thing for me this year. Maybe I’ll change my mind once we are there (that’s the plan for tomorrow and Thursday). I’m hoping I will.

This year I just wanted a quiet birthday, so today I’m spending it with my mom. I woke up this morning to her in the kitchen trying yet another new recipe for scones – I cannot imagine a better birthday breakfast than scones. We’re heading off in a minute to see my father (he’s buried not far from where we live) and then stopping at the grocery store to pick up a few last minute things for dinner (she’s trying a recipe she found for General Joe’s Chicken tonight) and dropping off a small load at Goodwill before heading back here. Just a quiet, lazy day. To me, that’s perfection.

Two days ago, she had her birthday. I think she wanted the same thing because every time I asked her what she wanted to do or what she wanted for her birthday, she changed the subject or said she didn’t really want anything. I’m always going to get her something, though. Unfortunately, the one gift (the big gift) I purchased did not arrive in time for her birthday, so I had to switch a few things around, and her Mother’s Day gift became her birthday gift, her birthday gift will be her Easter gift, her Easter gift her Mother’s Day gift haha. A bracelet that had a few mother charms on it, something I hope shows her how much she means to me. A necklace – well, two, one for her and one for me, each with two little hearts on it. (There was a theme, with hearts, so I guess the change was meant to be – there’s always a reason for everything.) I made her breakfast of some of her favorite things.

I honestly didn’t expect gifts at all. I never do. To me it’s not about the gifts. It’s about the celebration. Gifts break, they disappear, they are forgotten, but the memories – the memories are what is important. But I should know that my mother will always find a way to make my birthday as special as I try to make hers. And as I open the gifts each year, I laugh at how much she really does know me, after how many years of thinking she would never understand. This year was no different. A handheld vacuum (it’s pretty awesome), which is something I have been wanting, and a really neat ceramic tea mug (with strainer and cover) that I can use at work. Perfect gifts. Always perfect gifts.

Even the ladies at work got involved. Surprised me. Showed me the birthday love on my last day at work before I went on vacation. Totally unexpected. But the way things should be. (I have purchased a gift for each person with a birthday so far this year and plan to continue that tradition until the end of the year and beyond. Not just as a manager, but as part of the team, I feel it is important to celebrate the day they were born.)

A gift bag with some of my favorite snacks from Jennifer. A container of mini-cupcakes from Nicole. (Blue is my favorite color.) And of course I shared.

Even one of our regulars got involved. Her husband wrote a book and after we discussed it one day while she was in there shopping, I purchased it from Amazon. After it arrived, I took it to work and asked her if she could bring him up there so I could get him to autograph it. And he did!! Talk about a perfect birthday gift. (She also brought me a box of tea her friend sends her from England.)

All in all, turning 45 is pretty awesome. I have my health. A career that I love. Great friends. A wonderful mother. Yeah, it’s another year older, but eh… the older you get, the better you get, right? Like bourbon haha.

A Look Back

January 8, 2022 megHan

2021 was full of changes.

It started with me working with two year olds at a childcare facility, later found me working as an Assistant Manager at a cinema, and ended with me finding my chosen happy place – Assistant Manager at a clothing store. And boy has THAT been an adventure.

It found me ending a relationship (if you could even call it that) with a man who was a complete waste of my time, and at some point during the year, I saved myself from doing the same thing with someone else who did not deserve to be around me. Maybe I’ll put myself out there this year, maybe I won’t, but one thing I will always remember – I am not putting up with reasons and excuses, excuses and reasons. If they aren’t going to make an effort, they don’t deserve my time, energy, or even thoughts.

I made some good friends, reconnected with old ones, did a bunch of gardening, had some fun adventures (some silly, some grand), made some great memories, had a load of fun times with my mom, and really… to be absolutely honest… 2021 wasn’t actually half bad. I mean, yeah, there’s all that “outside stuff” that is going on in the world, but those outside things didn’t put much of a damper on my little neck of the woods… so that’s always a plus. (I have always tried to not let those things kill my tranquility, and it’s sad to watch those I consider friends allow theirs to be killed and, on top of that, watch all the anger that they themselves put out into the world.)

And I now look forward to 2022 and all it has to offer. I learned a long time ago that I – myself – have to CHOOSE whether my year is going to be good or bad, that I – myself – have to MAKE AN EFFORT and TAKE STOCK and STICK TO MY PLAN. And that is exactly what I plan to do this year.

As I Sit Here…

January 8, 2022 megHan

My intention was to sit down this morning and write a post looking back at last year and setting my eyes on this, but as I took a look “around the place,” taking stock of where this blog is and what it is, I realized that I needed to face where this blog is and what this blog is first.

I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I sat down and wrote a blog post here. But then again… I guess I can believe it. 2021 was an interesting year, full of ups and downs, for all of us, and in that year, a lot of the things that I loved to do were put aside because I just… didn’t want to. Or maybe I couldn’t. It’s a feeling that I can’t explain, but one that cut me deep every time. Staring at a blank screen, or avoiding that blank screen…

It’s interesting – and I can’t be the only blogger that does – but I have several posts sitting in Draft… not quite finished. Some are just silly, and some are me sharing a part of myself with the strangers in internet world. Before I started this post, I looked over them – and the vast list of ideas I have to write about here – and realized some of the things I want to write about are things I need to deal with personally, and maybe that’s why they are on the list, a way to force me into confronting those demons, or telling my side of the story, or maybe a way of connecting with someone – anyone – who may have been in that situation before. I write these long, drawn-out opuses, and then, upon rereading them (checking for errors, making sure they sound eloquent), I have second thoughts, decide to wait a few days, save it in the Draft folder and move on – not ready to share, but also not ready to delete. So they sit there, waiting, waiting for me to be ready.

I have another list, sitting next to me. A list of all the things I need to “work on.” Some of them are simple – sitting in my garden with a cup of tea every morning when I have a day off, write in my journal every day, spend 30 minutes before bed reading. Others are more complex. Some have to do with some personal changes that I want to work on this year, others are things that I want to work on professionally to make me the best at what I do (I don’t compete with others, only myself, but in both of my chosen careers, I always go the extra mile to make sure that I am the best choice, whether its continuing education, reading books on the subject, learning from other professionals, etc). On that list is to sit my tush down in this chair and write more here. You have to start somewhere…

Our 1st Christmas in Lakeland

February 18, 2021January 9, 2022 megHan

So… technically it was not our first Christmas in Lakeland, as I have memories of several Christmases here when I was younger, but it was the first Christmas we had since we moved here, so I think it counts.

Our ceilings here, unfortunately, are simply not tall enough. Our huge tree from the last house would only have worked if we had put the top part on the roof outside, and since Mom is not that adventurous, it was not even an option. We were able to use my tree from Pennsylvania (that we used in the dining room in 2019, and on the outside porch in 2017), but it was just not right.

But when life hands you lemons…

There were lots of things going on last year that caused me to feel not-so-Christmas-spirited, but I refused to give up hope, so one day I went outside (in the cold, without shoes on) and decided to do some decorating. (It turned out quite nicely, if I do say so myself.)

The inside took forever. As I said, the tree just was never quite right.

A lot of the frustration was the wobbily Christmas tree stand, which made me think the tree was falling over every time I touched it to put on ornaments, and our tree topper (Frosty’s top hat) made the tree look squatty. But all in all, it doesn’t look too bad.

Lit up it all looks even better.

I am obsessed with ornament-stuffed Christmas trees, and love to see layered looks from every direction, including the bottom (I spend a lot of time lying under the tree reading or watching Christmas movies, with the tree lights on, and it’s just so special to look up and see it from that direction as well).

A regular Christmas wonderland.

Even my office got it’s annual spooky-Halloween lift. (Complete with photo-bomb from the ever adorable Mia in her much-loved Halloween bowl bed.)

Our Christmas Eve tradition has always been Christmas pajamas, and this year I did the shopping and surprised mom with some comfy ones…

The socks completely make the outfit, don’t you think? Hahaha. (I’m in red, and Mom is in blue.)

Don’t forget the hot chocolate, that we drank while watching the Christmas episodes of some of our favorite British mysteries. And from our new Christmas mugs.

Christmas morning is also another of my favorites during the holidays, but not because of the gifts. Mom always makes the BEST holiday breakfasts. This year was Mary Berry’s scones with genuine clotted cream and strawberry jam.

And tea, from one of my Christmas gifts – two different kinds of tea pots, and lots of new hot tea to try.

Our very un-traditional Christmas dinner was pinwheels (a different recipe from what we usually do, but still delicious) and lemony-garlic shrimp.

It may be late – not really, considering I still have 2nd Christmas gifts to send out – but I hope y’all had a wonderful holiday, despite 2020 and COVID-19. It really wasn’t half bad after all, was it?

When Life Hands You Lemons 2: Spend Christmas in Orlando

February 18, 2021January 8, 2022 megHan

Back in 2019, we found out just how perfect Disney is at Christmas-time, and the plan was to go back every year, just like we go back every year for our birthdays (our April Disney trip). But then COVID-19 and the whole of 2020 happened. Not only did we not get to spend our birthdays there, but we also had no plans of going in December either.

But then life started handing us lemons…

With the stresses of the two previous posts in this series, and one that you will be reading about in a few posts, we decided that we definitely needed some Disney time for Christmas. Due to the surge in COVID cases here in Florida, we chose to make it a short trip, leaving early in the morning and coming back the next evening.

Instead of hitting the parks, we decided to stick just to Disney Springs, a place that brings both of us enjoyment.

It was a fun trip, but also a bit disappointing. You see, in 2019, we explored the Christmas Tree Trail and loved it – so many trees and such a fun atmosphere, with frozen eggnog and frozen hot chocolate, snow falling, 20+ trees…

This year, because of social distancing, they decided to spread a handful of trees out throughout the area, and instead of just being wow-moments with each new tree, they were sort of eh-moments, with very few trees to be excited over.

The Star Wars Lego creations had been completed – the last time we were there, Rey was the only character there.

And they did change up the big Christmas tree, adding some new things underneath.

Part of EVERY Orlando trip for us is to stop by the Basilica (The Basilica of the National Shrine of Mary, Queen of the Universe, found down the street from the Vineland Outlet Mall, and a definite must-see if you are Catholic). This is where we choose to go to confession when we’re up there, and it’s just a beautiful, peaceful area to spend some time (make sure you check out the cross garden behind the church building, as well as the inside of the church.

We were curious to see how they were going to do their Nativity scene this year, with social distancing being a must. (In 2019, it filled the chapel, but because of social distancing, they had to rethink their display, and did a great job.)